We Finally Know How Bart and Lisa Simpson Will Die

This article contains spoilers for The Simpsons' “Stew Lies.”

The Simpsons has killed off a number of characters over the years — from Larry the Bar Fly. But thankfully, we’ve never been forced to witness the demise of any of the Simpson family in a non-Treehouse of Horror episode. Until now, that is. 

The most recent episode of the show, “Stew Lies,” begins with a surprisingly heartwarming storyline in which Bart’s efforts to annoy the hell out of Lisa by repeating everything she says, ends up bringing them closer together. While this plot point resolves itself after only around five minutes of screen time, during the episode’s closing credits, we get a glimpse of Lisa and Bart’s relationship in the future.

An adult, “Professor” Lisa is now an astrophysicist working for the SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) Institute. It seems that they have made with an alien ship, but are waiting for Lisa to do the honors and “convey humanity’s first words to extraterrestrial life.”

Unfortunately, as soon as Lisa begins broadcasting her message of peace, Bart shows up and starts copying her again. The two start fighting on mic, and the transmission displeases the aliens, Kang and Kodos. After noting the humans’ “war-like nature,” they decide to “commence obliteration,” destroying the entire Earth in a matter of seconds. Which is a pretty bleak way to end an episode that was mostly about dunking on Guy Fieri. 

“So that’s how Bart and Lisa die?” one fan on Reddit asked. Clearly this was just meant to be a one-off punchline, but is there any reason why this couldn’t be the canonical ending for Bart, Lisa and humanity in general?

Judging from Bart’s earring, this seems like it could be in keeping with the timeline established in Season 11’s “Bart to the Future.” But Lisa the astrophysicist doesn’t appear to be the former president. And as for Kang and Kodos, although they have previously popped up in non-Treehouse of Horror episodes, they've also already made with Earth.

We’ve gotten several different versions of what the future will look like in the world of Springfield as well. More recently, there was “Holidays of Future ed,” in which Lisa didn’t become president, but married Milhouse and became a businesswoman. 

While it’s still conceivable that this future is also the one that ends with a violent alien apocalypse, really, there is no definitive future for the characters on The Simpsons, just as there is no definitive version of their past anymore. This means that the future where Bart and Lisa’s juvenile argument leads to the deaths of billions is as real and valid as the one where Lisa is president. Or the one where Bart is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

We could do a lot worse, to be honest.