32 Collectible Bits of Trivia About Odd, Dangerous and Classic Toys

Turns out bright-colored plastic doesn’t guarantee a good time
32 Collectible Bits of Trivia About Odd, Dangerous and Classic Toys

We don’t know if we should open this blurb with “you're welcome” or “we’re so incredibly sorry,” since we gathered a huge list of classic toys that might either cause serious nostalgia or serious PTSD flashbacks. 

It’s funny how something like Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kids can make one kid scream, “Wow, its motorized jaw actually chews,” while making another kid scream, “Ow, my finger! Mommy, get a Band-Aid!”

Yoda Magic 8-Ball

UP MY SKIRT, YOU MUST LOOK, TO SEE YOUR FUTURE. THE Ages 4 and up No. 69370 STAR THE EMPIRE YODA STRIKES BACK THE JEDI MASTER. WARS Kenner CERTAIN CANNOT BE HE ANSWERS ALL YOUR Kenner QUESTIONS! - - - ب - - .. It's the Yoda Magic 8-Ball, complete with mangled grammar. We assume the most-asked question is why? CRACKED.COM http://www.dallasvintagetoys.com/1981kennerstanwarsesbyodamagic8ballfortunetelerwbox.aspx

My Puppy Puddles

MY PUPPY PUDDLES POMPER ROOM My Puppy PUDDLES Squeeze PUDDLES' collar & make him drink his water. Sit him on his training troy. My Puppy PUDDLES only puddles where he oughtal CRACKED.COM My Puppy PUDDLES only puddles in N training trou. Ranked number one among toys with bladder infections.

Lucious Limbs

LUSCIOUS LIMBS Luscious Limbs Feast on - PARA - delicious parta of the Availy EAT A LIVELY LUNCH OF LIMRS Nomeking! Nutrienzing! Just with water mold and اليوم CRACKED.COM - DELESTABLE Ever wanted to gnaw off your own foot? Now you can!

Jackie Gleason’s Bus Driver’s Outfit

JACKIE GLEASON BUS DRIVER'S OUTFIT m-m-m what Boy a toy! Jackie Gleason BUS DRIVER'S OUTFIT - im TV - عشد Kingdom AM Nom caree - ... - CRACKED.COM Make change! Switch lanes without warning! Pull away from old women running in the rain!

The Car-Inspired Game

CRACKED CAR STOP STOP KC GA KM THE CAR PL The 1978 horror movie The Car - not at the top of James Brolin's resume by any stretch - spawned a game that never made it, in which players competed not to get run over by Satan.

Cabbage Patch Kids

CRACKED KS! Feed Me My mouth really moves! 92 HST 1996's Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kids did make it to shelves, but not for long - their gimmick was that you could feed them through their battery-powered jaws, but inevitably kids got their hair and fingers stuck, leading to a mass recall.

Mongo Beefheads Star Wars Figures

CRACKED There are action figures for every obscure-ass Star Wars character, but around 1985 they ran out. New characters were prototyped in a continuing story, including an alien tribe with the offensive-sounding name Mongo Beefheads.

DC Anti-Heroes Action Figures

CRACKED ATI A series of DC figures known as Anti-Heroes NNF was pitched with Mad Max-esque and robotic versions of Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman, all of whom looked like they belonged in a Berlin sex dungeon. Superman had a tattoo. BUT HOW?

Mattel

CRACKED In 1992, Mattel attempted to cherry-pick elements of Wonder Woman, Barbie and My Little Pony to come up with Wonder Woman and the Star Riders, a unicorn-heavy, Barbie-scale, girls only like horses and dresses line that was canceled before production.

Jurassic Park Chaos Effect Night Hunter Series

CRACKED 1999's Jurassic Park Chaos Effect Night Hunter series was a desperate attempt to keep an ailing line going with glow-in-the-dark paint slapped on existing designs. The plug was pulled before they went into production and everyone decided to try harder.

Ghostbusters Action Figures

CRACKED Likeness rights caused issues with a 1985 line of Ghostbusters action figures designed in Japan, which is probably for the best, as their facial designs were the stuff of nightmares.

Karl Marx Action Figure

CRACKED COM YOU CAN GO HIKING WITH KARL MARX AND HIS FRIENDS! MOUNTAIN RESEARCH Japanese toy maker Mountain Research released a foursome of surveyors modeled after Karl Marx, Vladimir Lenin, Mao Zedong, and Henry David Thoreau. There's no indication as to why two Communist dictators, the philosopher who inspired them, and an unrelated poet guy are hiking mountain trails.

Quentin Tarantino’s Board Game Collection

celebrity Hobbies MB i I Dream Quentin Tarantino NEW im of Jeannie GAME collects board games MILTON based on old TV shows. MARATHON GRADLEY The gritty film director has a niche hobby of collecting vintage board games licensed by classic television shows, such as I Dream of Jeannie, The A-Team, and The Dukes of Hazzard. CRACKED.COM

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

So many tie-ins for Ninja Turtles and PIZZA HUT Cowabunga! - Get our radical debut audio cassette, official Concert Tour Guide and autographed poster for - . TEEMAGE MUTANT MIKAI $399 TURTLES PIZZA TOSSIN RAPM with any excellent pizza purchase. A 11200 retail value. - - Real - Pizza - Hut. Makin' in great! - Audio cassettes. VHS concert movies. Mutagen Ranch dressing. PICAL PIZZA Offer CRACKED.COM But don't tell the Hut -- there's a Pizza Tossin' Raph action figure that spews Dominos pies.

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KaBlam! Action Figures

KABLAM! pioneered chuckimation CRACKED.COM KaBlam! showcased Action League Now!, featuring toy figures animated by chucking them around the frame. One of the main heroes was The Flesh, who was super-strong and super-naked.

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Breaking Bad Action Figures

PARENTS RECENTLY PETITIONED TOYS R US TO PULL THE BREAKING BAD ACTION FIGURES FROM THEIR SHELVES. WARNING: Ages CHOKING HAZARD The Walter White 15+ MY didas figure comes with a 35 gun, a bag of cash, and Br eaking 56 a baggie full of meth*. Bad TOY FAIR NY 14 EXCLUSIVE Not actual meth. an actual gun or actual cash Walter White Collection Figure Toys R Us no longer sells them. CRACKED.COM

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Archie Bunker’s Grandson Baby Doll

ARCHIE BUNKER'S GRANDSON IS A BABY DOLL WITH A PENIS. The toy was released during the heyday of All in ARCHIE BUNKER'S the Family, a '70s sitcom GRANDSON centered around a JOEY STIVIC blue-collar bigot. DHS A WTT DOLLIS A PHYSICALLY CORRECT IDEAL MALE The commercial makes a point of calling the doll a physically correct boy. Twice. CRACKED.COM https://youtu.be/Eq qYTUjRNjH4

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The 2,500-Year-Old Board Game

CRACKED A 2,500-YEAR-OLD BOARD GAME A huge cheating scandal happened at the Chunlan Cup, a tournament for the Chinese board game Go that had a prize of $200,000. Go players have been using AI to train, but it's (obviously) banned in competition. When a noob beat the world champ, everyone accused the new guy of using AI. Не was eventually cleared, but it was extremely hard to prove one way or the other. DINUD - - by - MINES ON

CNN / Reddit 

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