Charlie Brown Is Canonically Blond

Here in the real world, have you ever seen an almost-bald eight-year-old child with a single, pube-like strand of dark black hair jutting out of his forehead like the world’s most melancholy unicorn? No? Then why the hell did we never second-guess Peanuts?

As it turns out, legendary cartoonist Charles Monroe “Sparky” Schulz never intended for his iconic character Charlie Brown isn’t supposed to look like this, how the hell is he supposed to look?”

Then, yesterday morning, Caillou’s excuse?

Now that we understand the canonical constraints under which numerous generations of Peanuts animators have toiled, it’s easier to forgive some of those attempts to modernize a Cold War-era character that turned out to be more nightmare fuel than a dream come true. However, we can’t excuse all of them — you owe us too many hours of sleep, Al Roker.