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20 Shameless, Awful Movie Knock-Offs

Even less original than your average Hollywood production.

20 Shameless, Awful Movie Knock-Offs

September 21, 2022

Listen, originality is heavy inspiration from others. Mr. Robot, for example, is just an elongated Fight Club, and Fight Club is just a gritty House Party, everyone knows this.

Inspiration, however, is not what we’re talking about here. Heavy, shameless inspiration gave us Tarantino movies (and then the whole trend in turn Plato. Just wait until you read it, geesh! Anyway, cue the list!

20

Mac and Me

Awful Knock-Offs Mac and Me (1988) Few films are as visually repugnant as this E.T. knock-off. The horrible creature design, the clunky FX, the shameless McDonald's scene, the general cheapness - everything stabs you in the eye, up to and including the nightmare-fueling final scene. This movie is brilliant, is what we're saying. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

19

Titanic: The Legend Goes On

Awful Knock-Offs (2000) Titanic: The Legend Goes On We will never waste a chance to talk about the rapping dog from the Italian Titanic cartoon. Just watch it. Now. Not the Titanic rip-off itself, nobody cares about that, but just the scene. Watch it and ride those brain-destroying aneurysms like Jack and Rose on the front of the Titanic. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube, Rapping Dog

18

Great White

Awful Knock-Offs Great White (1981) Jaws rip-offs include Orca and Grizzly, but this Italian flick is such a blatant copy that Universal Pictures sued to stop its American release. The studio, however, missed one thing: That while Spielberg chose slowly creeping tension and narrative restraint, Great White has the shark chomping a guy in half. That's how it's done, Steven. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

17

Ratatoing

Awful Knock-Offs (2007) Ratatoing This Brazilian Ratatouille knock-off came out the same year and has the same plot, only set in Rio de Janeiro. Those purely descriptive facts are the best things we can say about it, because after watching it everything else is insane ramblings, sacrilegious profanities, and poor sphincter control. Seriously, watch the trailer (at your own peril). CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

16

The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens

Awful Knock-Offs The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens (2008) Yes, this family video-like movie is a blatant Harry Potter rip-off, but its respectful iration for Adobe After Effects is undoubtable. Rowdy Roddy Piper is here, because we all have bills to pay, and every performer looks at the camera, flubs their lines, and cackles at whatever we thought cinema was. CRACKED COM — Trailer on YouTube

15

Bloody Murder

Awful Knock-Offs (2000) Bloody Murder It takes real courage to make a slasher set in a summer camp, and featuring a hockey-masked serial killer, that is not a Friday The 13th entry. And we mean courage, not talent. Talent would at least make the shamelessness fun, interesting, or engaging. But this cowardly flick isn't any of that, instead just being incoherent, boring, and not even bloody. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

14

Metal Man

Awful Knock-Offs (2008) Metal Man Yes, Iron Man ushered in the modern superhero genre, but did you know Metal Man ushered in our current mockbuster golden age? Huh? OK, that is possibly not true, but we just want to make Metal Man popular and see civilization driven to madness. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

13

Mahakaal

Awful Knock-Offs (1994) Mahakaal A Nightmare on Elm Street is good, but it totally lacks goofy humor, martial arts fights, and Bollywood dance numbers. You know which movie does have those, though? Mahakaal. In of shots, pacing, and set design, it's pretty much a photocopy of WesCraven's movie, but did we mention the Bollywood dance numbers? CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

12

Leo the Lion: King of the Jungle

Awful Knock-Offs (1994) Leo the Lion: King of the Jungle Before The Asylum, there was GoodTimes Entertainment, and before The Lion King, there was Kimba The Whi-no, wait, we're getting our rip-offs mixed up here. OK, Leo, yeah. It's a blatant Lion King cash grab with the cheapest animation the could find, as proved by Leo himself having been designed on toilet paper. True fact, don't look it up. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

11

Finding Jesus

Awful Knock-Offs (2020) Finding Jesus The Christian faith is insulted by this shameless Finding Nemo copycat. This flick needs no summary: it's just preaching. Look, we can also do it: don't be a dick. Or be a dick, but only towards dicks, exactly like our boy JC was with the merchants. There, we spared you the stiff, unfinished character design. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

10

Ghoulies

Awful Knock-Offs (1985) Ghoulies Ghoulies was actually filmed at the same time as Gremlins, but the latter's success meant the Ghoulies franchise could embrace being a derivative, second- rate knock-off. The dialogue is corny, the gore is lame, and the creatures look like fried chicken with hair. At least Critters was mildly interesting. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

9

Dolly Dearest

Awful Knock-Offs (1991) Dolly Dearest Child's Play spawned its slew of knock-offs, but Dolly Dearest is the true gem of the bunch. The direction is bland, the script is non-existent, and the FX are betrayed by the awful design. But it's also a 1991 killer doll movie, which is the sort of fun concept that explains itself. It gets a solid C+ for the effort. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

8

Shocking Dark

Awful Knock-Offs Shocking Dark (1989) This absolute Italian classic goes by several, ever- awesomer names which save us from having to explain its hodgepodge plot: Terminator 2, Aliens 2, Aliennators, and Contaminator. And yup, it was sold in some countries as an actual sequel to The Termina... Wait, Aliennators? CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

7

The Amazing Bulk

Awful Knock-Offs (2012) The Amazing Bulk The problem with Tommy Wiseau's The Room is that it doesn't have enough shots of a purple Hulk rampaging through a hideous CGI city. To fix this, some damned souls threw together the Hulk, Birdemic, and the worst meth that can be found in back alleys, and the result was this fever dream. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

6

Beckman

Awful Knock-Offs Beckman (2020) Don't be fooled by the slick-looking, quick-paced trailer-Beckman is as interesting as a John Wick knock-off made for the Christian conservative crowd, because, well, that's what it is. It stars the guy from the God's Not Dead movies, David Whatshisface, and boasts preaching, late Steven Seagal-quality action, and William Baldwin as the villain, which is just sad. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

5

Ator, the Fighting Eagle

Awful Knock-Offs Ator, the Fighting Eagle (1982) The point of Schwarzenegger as Conan was that he looked like a Frank Frazetta drawing. The Ator actor, is certainly a ripped dude, but he's no Frazetta man. In the same way, Ator, the Fighting Eagle is no Conan the Barbarian, but the cheesy Italian knock-off. Inexplicably, it had three sequels. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

4

The Ark of the Sun God

Awful Knock-Offs (1984) The Ark of the Sun God King Solomon's Mines is the classic awful Raiders rip- off, but this adventure movie beat it for one year, actually has Ark in its title, and comes from Italy. So yeah, it sucks-and it certainly does not compare to 1982's Hunters of the Golden Cobra, which is, dare we say, the so-bad-it's-good Raiders rip-off? CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

3

2019, After the Fall of New York

Awful Knock-Offs (1983) 2019, After the Fall of New York This Italian flick steals from both Escape from New York and Mad Max 2. But it actually anticipates the fertility crisis from Children of Men-which means that we will absolutely be saying Children of Men is a knock-off of 2019, After the Fall of New York at parties. And yes, it is better than Escape from L.A. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

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2

Ape

Awful Knock-Offs (1976) Ape Ape was such a copy of the 1976 King Kong that after a lawsuit it had to literally warn Not to be confused with King Kong on its poster. Anyway, the costume for South-Korean King Kong looks hilarious, and we would respect this movie if it had gone with one of its later titles: Attack of the Giant Horny Gorilla. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube, Wikipedia

1

Pearl Harbor

Awful Knock-Offs (US (2001) Pearl Harbor Yes, we're saying it: Pearl Harbor is a Titanic knock- off. It's an epic romantic movie set against the backdrop of a historical tragedy and with hot people trying to survive - and it came out when culture was still barely letting go of Titanic. Of course, Michael Bay is no James Cameron, and it shows. CRACKED.COM — Trailer on YouTube

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