27 of the Funniest Lies Kids Have Told

‘Oh, I think they may have put a little wine in the spaghetti sauce for flavor’
27 of the Funniest Lies Kids Have Told

There’s an art to lying about your age. Claiming to be much younger makes you look delusional, but there’s also a danger in claiming to be too old, as one 4-year-old Legoland visitor learned. 

The child was determined to enjoy a ride on a mechanical pony Lego fan decided to add a few extra years onto his preschool age for good measure, telling the ride attendant that he wasn’t actually four — he just was a very, very, very young-looking 18-year-old. “Everyone within ear shot was rolling,” his parent recalled of the hilarious fiasco. 

Redditors have shared other funny stories of the failed fibs of their youth, including tales of DIY skin grafts, sudden blindness and very artistic imaginary friends.

weasel999 . 8y ago My daughter was 3 and farted loudly, then said that was a woodpecker. 4.8K ... + More replies
random_char 8y ago We took my 4 yr old son to LegoLand in California. We were waiting in line for a mechanical pony ride that he was very excited for and could do by himself. The attendant was asking every child their age before they got on the ride. We hadn't thought to talk to him about why. When he got to the front of the line, the attendant asked him his age. Не hesitated and looked at us. We reassured him. Then as cool and confident as could be he said um ... 18. Everyone within ear shot was
-teaqueen- . 8y ago I'm a preschool teacher. One of our three year olds who is verrry smart told me today's my last day as a kid... I start college on Saturday and let out a huge sigh. 1.8K ... + More replies
deadlychambers 8y ago I wrote on the wall when i was very little. My dad asked me if I did it. I responded No, Todd did it (there is no Todd) he says oh walks out of the room, comes back 5 minutes later and tells me I just got off the phone with Todd's mom, Todd said you did it. ....checkmate. 6K ...
dbontheb 8y ago Yesterday. My nearly 4 yr old used the garden hose to soak the dog. When confronted he insisted the dog was wet because it had rained. I noticed he'd peed his pants too and mentioned it. Не denied that and said his pants got wet while he was spraying the dog. 2.5K ...
notkeenontalking 8y ago coming around the corner into the kid's room Alright, who got into mommy's makeup? Amber did it! Amber's mouth looked like a mouth. My other child had colored/smeared the bottom third of their face with fushia lipstick. It was still on their hands, too. 942 ...
 . 8y ago have you been eating crayons? no {with blue teeth.} 2.7K ... + More replies
sooperfizzy . 8y ago soopert After my kid looted the candy jar... 'Where you got that candy from son?'. Uhh, I found it in my mouth'. 687 ... + More replies
ThePotatoCouncil 8y ago My nephew. I don't have a child. His mother: What's that little scratch on your hand? Nephew: Well, actually it was very serious. I sliced it open with a knife at school, there was a huge hole in my hand so the teacher had to cut some skin from another child to stick my hand back together. 2.8K ...
CertainDamagedLemon . 8y ago My 4 yo had been jumping in mud puddles near our house, which he was specifically NOT supposed to do. When he came up to me covered in splashes of fresh mud and I asked him what happened he looked me right in the eye and said I have no idea. 996 ...
ElleCay . 8y ago Ny two year old told me I had to turn on the TV because the dog wanted to watch Elmo. 196 ... + More replies
Recabilly 8y ago My daughter asked my wife where's daddy? he's at work no he's with his girlfriend oh yeah? It's she prettier than me? yes - 2 year old daughter. If I wasn't such a loner I'd probably be in trouble but since my life is go to work, go home, repeat I was safe haha 2.3K ...
sammehemtee . 8y ago . Edited 8y ago When I was about 3 I came downstairs and proudly announced to my mom and her friends that I had NOT coloured on the walls. She of course thinks I have and ran upstairs to see what damage I had done. I really didn't colour on the walls I just thought I was funny. 512 ...
dinosaregaylikeme 8y ago de My nephew has two moms and about a year ago he was being taught that most people have a mom and dad. About a week later his mom found marker drawings on the wall. My nephew was covered in marker scribbles and told his mom that he didn't do it, his dad did. 499 ...
 8y ago I have an almost 2 year old so she doesn't understand lying yet. She is also better at saying no than yes. I always find it funny when she is devouring her dinner and I ask her if it's yummy and she flat out says no as she shoved another mouthful of Mac n Cheese in her mouth 314 ...
nebelhund . 8y ago Not uncommon with kids I guess. My son when still in diapers or being potty trained was always telling others that I was the one pooping in his diaper. Не did it enough I considered doing it just to teach him a lesson. 304 ...
waltur_d . 8y ago My nephew was cutting his sisters hair. Mom walks in and while the scissors were still in his hand he immediately says, Abby did it. 651 ...
Volutus 8y ago Not my child but my nephew told us he has a farm that he owns and he spends time there with the pigs, when he needs a break from the rest of the family. 104 ...
tinyahjumma 8y ago My kid swiped a cool looking pencil from another student's desk. The teacher saw it happened and confronted my kid. My kid adamantly denied it. When the teacher pointed to the pencil sitting on my kid's desk, my kid suddenly pretended to be blind, and said she didn't realize she'd taken the pencil because she couldn't see. She was 7. 279 ...
rich115 8y ago It wasn't particularly a lie, but one day the bathroom sink was blocked. I just figured it was one of those things and hair, etc. was blocking it. When I investigated further I found a lolly wrapper stuffed down the drain. I let her know we'd found it, and explained she probably would get away with it more if she just put it in the bin. 427 ...
Crikel . 8y ago When I was around six or so I would cuss when I thought no one could hear me. My dad told me one day that Santa heard me cussing and had told him. I told him that Santa was a liar. 87 ... + More replies
 0 8y ago My brother once told his parents that he broke his arm because a dead cat jumped out in front of his bike on his way home that evening. Не was 15, and told everyone about the dead cat that jumped out in front of his bike. 175 ...
-Viridian- . 8y ago Not a parent... My sister went to her friend's house for a dinner party. She came home stumbling drunk and my mom just looked her over when she walked in the door. Sister looked at my mom and said oh, I think they may have put a little wine in the spaghetti sauce for flavor. Smooth sister. На ha. 172 ...
Miccy10 . 8y ago Not a parent, this was me lying to my parents. Came home one day with a small toy hot wheels car I had found in the playground. When asked how I got it for some reason I claimed it fell with the snow. 161 ...
ThisOnePlaysTooMuch . 8y ago Not a parent, but I once bit my brother on the neck and told my dad that he bit himself. 156 ... + More replies
 8y ago My nephew who has a learning disability got in trouble for biting another kid when he was in kindergarten. When asked why he did it, he told us that his brain told him to do it. I thought it was funny, the other parent? Not so much. 366 ...
Rac3318 ® 8y ago My 8 year old niece. I'm very smart. walks straight into a wall 286 ...

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